Haha, so my coworkers and I were having a fun discussion about what you would call someone who was half Mexican, half Chinese (turns out … Mexinese was all we could come up with).  Well, we ended up coming across this great site, which has names for just about every combination you can think of.

Haha, check it out … I’ve bolded those that made me literally LOL:

¡Ask a Mexican!
Putting a name to a crazy, mixed-up heritage.

If you’re half-Mexican and…

Half-African: Afrijoles

Half-black: Black Beans, Blaxican, Choco-Taco, Negrexican

Half-Arab: Garbanzo Beaner (America’s worst nightmare)

Half-Canadian: Canexican

Half-Chinese: Chexican, Chinacan, Chinkano, Combination Plate, Mexinese, Rice-n-Beans

Half-Cornish: Cornish Tortilla

Half–Costa Rican: Mextica (tico is a nickname for Costa Ricans)

Half-Croatian: Cro-Mex

Half-Czech: Czecano, Czex-Mex, Czexican, Mexislovakian

Half-Filipino: Chilipino, Mexipino

Half-Flemish: Fletino

Half-French: Frenchican

Half-Gabacho: Amerilanga (combination of American and chilanga, nickname for someone from Mexico City), Caucano, Gabaxicano, Güerexican, Mixican, Whispanic, White Bean

Half-German: Beanerschnitzel, Germexican, Wiener Beaner

Half-Greek: Greexican, Mexi-eek (I never said all of the nicknames were clever)

Half-Guatemalan: Chapano (chapín is a nickname for Guatemalans)

Half-Hawaiian: Pineapple Salsa

Half-Honky: Chichonky

Half-Indian (the India kind): Curry Tamale

Half-Indian (the Indian kind): Navajole

Half-Irish: Leprecano, Green Bean, McBeaner

Half-Italian: Mexican Pizza, Spic-talian

Half-Japanese: Japanic, Mexanese

Half-Jewish: Jalapeño Bagel, Jumex (also the name of a delicious Mexican fruit-nectar drink), Kahlúa-jewa, Kosher Burrito, Mexi-Jew

Half-Korean: Korexican

Half-Pakistani: Mexistani

Half-Panamanian: Panamex

Half-Polish: Polexican, Polexiqui (this particular gal was Yaqui Indian on her Mexican side; she also called herself a Mexipolaqui)

Half-Portuguese: Pork-n-Beans

Half-Redneck: Rednexican, Redback, Wetneck

Half-Russian: Brown Russian

Half-Salvadoran: Salvexican

Half-Samoan: Samexican

Half-Scotch: McRiguez

Half-Turk: Turxican

Gaby got me “What’s Your Poo Telling You?: 2009 Daily Calendar.”  The item for this last weekend:

“In rare cases of intestinal obstruction, it is possible to vomit poo.  Most cases of bowel blockage occur in the small intestine (before poo is formed), but when the problem occurs in the large intestine and fecal matter cannot make its way out via the rectum, it travels in reverse into the upper GI tract and exits via the mouth.”

Freaking.  Gross.

I consider myself a good friend.  If things are going well, I’ll be around to share the good times.  If things aren’t going so well, I’ll be around to share the bad times.

So it’s only right that I share what I like to call “The Five Stages of Being Wifed Up” with all my blog-reading friends (Kubler-Ross model, anyone?).

First off, what’s it mean to be wifed up?  Here’s a pretty good definition, credit to Urban Dictionary:

When a man is held down or in check by a female counterpart so as to not engage in social situations with other members of the general public.

In other words — whipped.

It’s a sad sight to behold when one of your friends can’t go out with you because of the ol’ ball and chain.  Everyone in a relationship (including yours truly) can be guilty of it sometimes.  But there are people who are guilty of it ALL THE TIME.

So as a reference, here they are, the Five Stages of Being Wifed Up:

1.  Denial

Examples:

“Pfff, I don’t know what you’re talking about, I’m still out there hooking up with plenty of chicks.”
“You don’t know what you’re talking about.  I’d never get wifed up.”

Yep — we’ve all seen the sad sight of a man denying that he’s wifed up.  Everyone else sees it, but they refuse.

2.  Anger

Examples:

“WTF?!  How the hell could this happen?!”
“All my friends are idiots!  They don’t know anything about women!”

Hey, sometimes your friend is wifing up with the right woman.  As guys, we love to poke fun at them, but in reality, there’s nothing wrong with it.  We just do it because, well, we’re guys, and it’s fun to see your friends get pissed off.  But inside, we think, “Hey, she’s alright!”

But this stage can also be pretty tough.  Sometimes, your friend is wifing up with the WRONG woman.  This is the stage when that wrong woman can use her evil powers (and yes, woman have evil powers) and turn this anger against the dude’s own friends, and convince him that they’re all the wrong people to be hanging out with.  I’ve seen it happen.  Friendships CAN end at the anger stage.

3.  Decision Time

Examples:

“God, please just throw another girl my way.  I need it.”
“I’ll do anything — I just don’t want her to think I’m REALLY serious about her!”

At this point, the guy is kinda realizing that, hey, maybe he IS getting wifed up.  He starts to wonder, “Is this really what I want?  I think she’s taking this more seriously than I am.  I’m not committed.  I need another girl.  Just one more.  Hell, I can GET another girl…right?  Do I even want another girl?  Maybe this girl is right for me.”

Many guys will stop seeing the girl at this point.  It’s decision time, and they realize that hey, maybe they’re not ready to get wifed up.  Other guys figure, ya know, I might as well, she’s pretty cool.  I’d consider this the stage where a relationship OFFICIALLY begins, i.e. boyfriend / girlfriend status, or OFFICIALLY ends.

4.  Boredom

Examples:

“Now I can’t do all the things I wanted to do.”
“Gosh, why bother even going out…I’m not going to have fun.”

I think this is the stage where the guy needs the most help from his friends.  He’s not exactly “bummed out,” but he just might not want to go out as much.  Things don’t seem as fun to him.  He feels like he can’t do anything unless his significant other is around.

Non-wifed up guys need to bring the wifed up guy back to life.

5.  Acceptance

Examples:

“Ya know, she’s a great girl.  And I can still have fun.”
“Yep, I’m wifed up.  And?”

Reaching the acceptance stage doesn’t mean that a relationship will survive forever.  What it DOES mean is that the guy does, in fact, want to be in the relationship.  And that’s a good start, I suppose.

So there you have it.  The Five Stages of Being Wifed Up.  I wonder if this applies to women, too.  Probably?