Still pretty smooth … but … the stubble is starting to show up.  Slowly making it happen.  Please donate … support a great cause!

The growing of the ‘stache officially began today for the Grow-A-’Stache fundraiser I’ve been working on.  Here’s the blank slate upon which my awesome man hairs will grow:

I’ve also convinced several of my Fraternity brothers to join in for this good cause.  Here’s a chart that will track the group’s progress as a whole (will also be updated daily):

We appreciate any donations to support this cause.  To donate, please click here.

Thanks!

Mustache-growing fundraiser … I’m gonna make it happen.

Here’s the idea:  for every $20 we raise as a group, we let our mustaches grow for a day.  This means that if we manage to raise $600, we let our mustaches grow for about a month.  If we raise $6k, well, we let ‘em grow for a year (haha, maybe that’s too much)!  Of course, we’d probably have to set some limit.  LOL, can you imagine if someone decided to donate $20k?  MUSTACHES FOR LIFE.

Rules

1.  Everyone starts off with a clean shave … no beard, no mustache.  Just you, baby.

2.  Once the first donation(s) come in, we’d start growing the ‘stache.  You MUST shave all facial hair except for the mustache.

3.  Raise funds for a  month (minimum).

4.  Grow the mustaches for a month (minimum).

5.  Take a picture of your mustache every day.  Pictures will be posted online somewhere to track progress (maybe even on this blog).  Beautiful.

6.  Set a goal for amount of funds to be raised … $1000?

Marco suggested proceeds should be donated to Make-A-Wish Foundation … I think that’s a great idea.  I’ll try and contact them to see what’s the best way of going about this.

Anyways, I’m still in the pre-pre-pre-planning stages of this, but I’d love to get involved (and maybe even get the Fraternity involved) and raise funds for a great cause.  If you wanna join and help raise some funds while growing a nice ‘stache, shoot me an e-mail or FB message.  Also, if you have suggestions or ideas on how to go about this, feel free to let me know!

Haha, so my coworkers and I were having a fun discussion about what you would call someone who was half Mexican, half Chinese (turns out … Mexinese was all we could come up with).  Well, we ended up coming across this great site, which has names for just about every combination you can think of.

Haha, check it out … I’ve bolded those that made me literally LOL:

¡Ask a Mexican!
Putting a name to a crazy, mixed-up heritage.

If you’re half-Mexican and…

Half-African: Afrijoles

Half-black: Black Beans, Blaxican, Choco-Taco, Negrexican

Half-Arab: Garbanzo Beaner (America’s worst nightmare)

Half-Canadian: Canexican

Half-Chinese: Chexican, Chinacan, Chinkano, Combination Plate, Mexinese, Rice-n-Beans

Half-Cornish: Cornish Tortilla

Half–Costa Rican: Mextica (tico is a nickname for Costa Ricans)

Half-Croatian: Cro-Mex

Half-Czech: Czecano, Czex-Mex, Czexican, Mexislovakian

Half-Filipino: Chilipino, Mexipino

Half-Flemish: Fletino

Half-French: Frenchican

Half-Gabacho: Amerilanga (combination of American and chilanga, nickname for someone from Mexico City), Caucano, Gabaxicano, Güerexican, Mixican, Whispanic, White Bean

Half-German: Beanerschnitzel, Germexican, Wiener Beaner

Half-Greek: Greexican, Mexi-eek (I never said all of the nicknames were clever)

Half-Guatemalan: Chapano (chapín is a nickname for Guatemalans)

Half-Hawaiian: Pineapple Salsa

Half-Honky: Chichonky

Half-Indian (the India kind): Curry Tamale

Half-Indian (the Indian kind): Navajole

Half-Irish: Leprecano, Green Bean, McBeaner

Half-Italian: Mexican Pizza, Spic-talian

Half-Japanese: Japanic, Mexanese

Half-Jewish: Jalapeño Bagel, Jumex (also the name of a delicious Mexican fruit-nectar drink), Kahlúa-jewa, Kosher Burrito, Mexi-Jew

Half-Korean: Korexican

Half-Pakistani: Mexistani

Half-Panamanian: Panamex

Half-Polish: Polexican, Polexiqui (this particular gal was Yaqui Indian on her Mexican side; she also called herself a Mexipolaqui)

Half-Portuguese: Pork-n-Beans

Half-Redneck: Rednexican, Redback, Wetneck

Half-Russian: Brown Russian

Half-Salvadoran: Salvexican

Half-Samoan: Samexican

Half-Scotch: McRiguez

Half-Turk: Turxican

Dude, OJ made me crack up in this movie. He should’ve stuck to acting instead of…you know…killing and kidnapping folks. Hahaha, freakin’ Det. Nordberg — what else will you do?!

I’m a man who enjoys a good beer.  I’m also a man who enjoys a good drinking game.  I’ve heard of this game before, but never tried it:

Drinking Game: Asshole

Players:
4 – 10

Objective:
Get rid of all your cards first.

Aces are high, threes are low. Two’s are wild.

The dealer deals out all the cards. (Multiple decks may be necessary.) The person left of the dealer goes first, and lays down any card or set of cards of the same value. (Eg. three 4’s or a single 3 perhaps.) The person to their left must lay down cards of greater value, and the same number of cards. (Eg. If three 8’s were laid down, three 9’s or greater must be laid down. Four 9’s would not be allowed, it has to be 3.) If they cannot lay down any cards, they pass to the next person. (You may also choose to pass.) Anyone who passes must drink.

2’s are wild, and will beat any card played, including an Ace. Once a two is played the cards are cleared and the person playing the 2 has control. One 2 also beats a pair of anything, two 2’s will beat three of anything, three 2’s beats 4 of anything, etc…

The circle continues until no one can play any more cards. The last person to lay down cards has “control” and starts the next round by laying down new cards. Play continues until everyone is out of cards.

After the first round has been played, the first person out is the President. The second person out is the Vice-President, and the last two people out are the Vice-Asshole and Asshole for the second-last and last person respectively.

Once ranks are established and after all the cards have been redealt, the Asshole must give the President his 2 best cards, and the President gives the Asshole his 2 worst cards. The Vice-President and Vice-Asshole also switch worst and best cards, but only 1 each. Play begins again with the person left of the dealer.

At the end of each round, the Asshole must clear the cards and gather them into a pile. If anyone else touches the pile of cards during play, they automatically switch ranks with the Asshole. If the same person remains Asshole for 3 whole rounds, they become subject to the whims of other players and must drink when told. However, the President can make the Asshole drink at any time once the Asshole has been designated. As a matter of fact, the Asshole has to do pretty much anything the President tells them to. i.e. Wear a fish net on their head, get the President another beer, make out with their sister, etc.

So…if you read this blog — anyone wanna play?

Gaby got me “What’s Your Poo Telling You?: 2009 Daily Calendar.”  The item for this last weekend:

“In rare cases of intestinal obstruction, it is possible to vomit poo.  Most cases of bowel blockage occur in the small intestine (before poo is formed), but when the problem occurs in the large intestine and fecal matter cannot make its way out via the rectum, it travels in reverse into the upper GI tract and exits via the mouth.”

Freaking.  Gross.

I consider myself a good friend.  If things are going well, I’ll be around to share the good times.  If things aren’t going so well, I’ll be around to share the bad times.

So it’s only right that I share what I like to call “The Five Stages of Being Wifed Up” with all my blog-reading friends (Kubler-Ross model, anyone?).

First off, what’s it mean to be wifed up?  Here’s a pretty good definition, credit to Urban Dictionary:

When a man is held down or in check by a female counterpart so as to not engage in social situations with other members of the general public.

In other words — whipped.

It’s a sad sight to behold when one of your friends can’t go out with you because of the ol’ ball and chain.  Everyone in a relationship (including yours truly) can be guilty of it sometimes.  But there are people who are guilty of it ALL THE TIME.

So as a reference, here they are, the Five Stages of Being Wifed Up:

1.  Denial

Examples:

“Pfff, I don’t know what you’re talking about, I’m still out there hooking up with plenty of chicks.”
“You don’t know what you’re talking about.  I’d never get wifed up.”

Yep — we’ve all seen the sad sight of a man denying that he’s wifed up.  Everyone else sees it, but they refuse.

2.  Anger

Examples:

“WTF?!  How the hell could this happen?!”
“All my friends are idiots!  They don’t know anything about women!”

Hey, sometimes your friend is wifing up with the right woman.  As guys, we love to poke fun at them, but in reality, there’s nothing wrong with it.  We just do it because, well, we’re guys, and it’s fun to see your friends get pissed off.  But inside, we think, “Hey, she’s alright!”

But this stage can also be pretty tough.  Sometimes, your friend is wifing up with the WRONG woman.  This is the stage when that wrong woman can use her evil powers (and yes, woman have evil powers) and turn this anger against the dude’s own friends, and convince him that they’re all the wrong people to be hanging out with.  I’ve seen it happen.  Friendships CAN end at the anger stage.

3.  Decision Time

Examples:

“God, please just throw another girl my way.  I need it.”
“I’ll do anything — I just don’t want her to think I’m REALLY serious about her!”

At this point, the guy is kinda realizing that, hey, maybe he IS getting wifed up.  He starts to wonder, “Is this really what I want?  I think she’s taking this more seriously than I am.  I’m not committed.  I need another girl.  Just one more.  Hell, I can GET another girl…right?  Do I even want another girl?  Maybe this girl is right for me.”

Many guys will stop seeing the girl at this point.  It’s decision time, and they realize that hey, maybe they’re not ready to get wifed up.  Other guys figure, ya know, I might as well, she’s pretty cool.  I’d consider this the stage where a relationship OFFICIALLY begins, i.e. boyfriend / girlfriend status, or OFFICIALLY ends.

4.  Boredom

Examples:

“Now I can’t do all the things I wanted to do.”
“Gosh, why bother even going out…I’m not going to have fun.”

I think this is the stage where the guy needs the most help from his friends.  He’s not exactly “bummed out,” but he just might not want to go out as much.  Things don’t seem as fun to him.  He feels like he can’t do anything unless his significant other is around.

Non-wifed up guys need to bring the wifed up guy back to life.

5.  Acceptance

Examples:

“Ya know, she’s a great girl.  And I can still have fun.”
“Yep, I’m wifed up.  And?”

Reaching the acceptance stage doesn’t mean that a relationship will survive forever.  What it DOES mean is that the guy does, in fact, want to be in the relationship.  And that’s a good start, I suppose.

So there you have it.  The Five Stages of Being Wifed Up.  I wonder if this applies to women, too.  Probably?

Stole this from Steve-Oh … great stuff.  I’ve used bold font for a lot of the important ones.  Chances are, if you’re my friend, and you’re reading this, one of these bold rules applies to you:

1. If you owe someone money, always pay them back in a bar. Preferably during Happy Hour.
2. Always toast before doing a shot.
3. Whoever buys the shot gets the first chance to offer a toast.
4. Change your toast at least once a month.
5. Buying someone a drink is five times better than a handshake.
6. Buying a strange woman a drink is still cool. Buying all her drinks is dumb.
7. Never borrow more than one cigarette from the same person in one night.
8. When the bartender is slammed, resist the powerful urge to order a slightly-dirty, very-dry, in-and-out, super-chilled half-and-half martini with a lemon twist. Limit orders to beer, straight shots and two-part cocktails.
9. Get the bartender’s attention with eye contact and a smile.
10. Do not make eye contact with the bartender if you do not want a drink.
11. Unacceptable things to say after doing a shot:
Great, now I’m going to get drunk.
I hate shots.
It’s coming back up.
12. Never, ever tell a bartender he made your drink too strong.
13. If he makes it too weak, order a double next time. He’ll get the message.
14. If you offer to buy a woman a drink and she refuses, she does not like you.
15. If you offer to buy a woman a drink and she accepts, she still might not like you.
16. If she buys you a drink, she likes you.
17. If someone offers to buy you a drink, do not upgrade your liquor preference.
18. Always have a corkscrew in your house.
19. If you don’t have a corkscrew, push the cork down into the bottle with a pen.
20. Drink one girly drink in public, and you will forever be known as the guy who drinks girly drinks.
21. Our parents were better drinkers than we are.
22. Never talk to someone in the restroom unless you’re doing the same thing – urinating, waiting in line or washing your hands.
23. Girls hang out, apply make-up, and have long talks in the bathroom. Men do not.
24. After your sixth drink, do not look at yourself in the mirror. It will shake your confidence.
25. It is only permissible to shout ‘woo-hoo!’ if you are doing a shot with four or more people.
26. If there is a DJ, you can request a song only once per night. If he doesn’t play it within half an hour, don’t approach him again. If he does play it, don’t approach him again.
27. Learn how to make a rose out of a bar napkin. You’ll be surprised how well it works.
28. If you can’t afford to tip, you can’t afford to drink in a bar. Go to the liquor store.
29. If you owe someone twenty dollars or less, you may pay them back in beer.
30. Never complain about the quality or brand of a free drink.
31. If you have been roommates with someone more than six months, you may drink all their beer, even if it’s hidden, as long as you leave them one.
32. You can have a shot of their hard liquor only if the cap has been cracked and the bottle goes for less than $25.
33. The only thing that tastes better than free liquor is stolen liquor.
34. If you bring Old Milwaukee to a party, you must drink at least 2 cans before you start drinking the imported beer in the fridge.
35. Learn to appreciate hangovers. If it was all good times every jackass would be doing it.
36. If you ever feel depressed, get out a bartender’s guide and browse thru all the drinks you’ve never tried.
37. Try one new drink each week.
38. If you’re the bar’s sole customer, you are obliged to make small talk with the bartender until he stops acknowledging you. Then you’re off the hook. The same goes for him.
39. Never tip with coins that have touched you. If your change is $1.50, you can tell the barmaid to keep the change, but, once she has handed it to you, you cannot give it back. To a bartender or cocktail waitress, small change has no value.
40. If you have ever told a bartender, “Hey, it all spends the same,” then you are a cheap ass.
41. Anyone on stage or behind a bar is fifty percent better looking.
42. You can tell how hard a drinker someone is by how close they keep their drink to their mouth.
43. A bar is a college, not a nursery. If you spill a beer, clean it up. If you break a glass, wait for a staff member to clean it up, then blame it on someone else.
44. Being drunk is feeling sophisticated without being able to say it.
45. It’s okay to drink alone.
46. After three drinks, you will forget a woman’s name two seconds after she tells you. The rest of the night you will call her “baby” or “darling”.
47. Nothing screams ‘Gay’ louder than swirling an oversized brandy snifter.
48. Men don’t drink from straws. Unless you’re doing a Mind or Face Eraser.
49. If you do a shot, finish it. If you don’t plan to finish it, don’t accept it.
50. Never brood in a dance bar. Never dance in a dive bar.
51. Never play more than three songs by the same artist in a row.
52. Your songs will come on as you’re leaving the bar.
53. Never yell out jukebox selections to someone you don’t know.
54. Never lie in a bar. You may, however, grossly exaggerate and lean.
55. If you think you might be slurring a little, then you are slurring a lot. If you think you are slurring a lot, then you are not speaking English.
56. Screaming, “Someone buy me a drink!” has never worked.
57. For every drink, there is a five percent better chance you will get in a fight. There is also a three percent better chance you will lose the fight.
58. Fighting an extremely drunk person when you are sober is hilarious.
59. If you’re broke and a friend is “sporting you”, you must laugh at all his jokes and play wingman when he makes his move.
60. If you’re broke and a friend is “ragging on you”, you may steal any drink he leaves unattended.
61. Never rest your head on a table or bar top. It is the equivalent of voluntarily putting your head on a chopping block.
62. If you are trading rounds with a friend and he asks if you’re ready for another, always say “Yes”. Once you fall out of sync you will end up buying more drinks than him.
63. If you’re going to hit on a member of the bar staff, make sure you tip well before and after, regardless of her response.
64. The people with the most money are rarely the best tippers.
65. Before you die, single-handedly make one decent martini.
66. Asking a bartender what beers are on tap when the handles are right in front of you is the equivalent of saying, “I’m an idiot.”
67. Never ask a bartender “What’s good tonight?” They do not fly in the scotch fresh from the coast every morning.
68. If there is a line for drinks, get your damn drink and step the hell away from the bar.
69. If there is ever any confusion, the fuller beer is yours.
70. The patrons at your local bar are your extended family, your father, hers, your brothers and sisters. Except you get to sleep with these sisters. And if you’re really drunk, the mothers.
71. It’s acceptable, traditional, in fact, to disappear during a night of hard drinking. You will appear mysterious, and your friends will understand. If they even notice.
72. Never argue your tab at the end of the night. Remember, you’re hammered, and they’re sober. It’s akin to a precocious five-year-old arguing the super-string theory with a physicist. 99.9% of the time you’re wrong and, either way, you’re going to come off as a jackass.
73. If you bring booze to a party, you must drink it or leave it.
74. If you hesitate more than three seconds after the bartender looks at you, you do not deserve a drink.
75. Beer makes you mellow, champagne makes you silly, wine makes you dramatic, tequila makes you felonious.
76. The greatest thing a drunkard can do is buy a round of drinks for a packed bar.
77. Never preface a conversation with a bartender with “I know this is going to be a hassle, but . . .”
78. When you’re in a bar and drunk, your boss is just another guy begging for a fat lip. Unless he’s buying.
79. If you are 86′d, do not return for at least three months. To come back sooner makes it appear no other bar wants you.
80. Anyone with three or more drinks in his hands has the right of way.
81. If you’re going to drink on the job, drink vodka. It’s the no-tell liquor.
82. There’s nothing wrong with drinking before noon. Especially if you’re supposed to be at work.
83. The bar clock moves twice as fast from midnight to last call.
84. A flask engraved with a personal message is one of the best gifts you can ever give. And make sure there’s something in it.
85. On the intimacy scale, sharing a quiet drink is between a handshake and a kiss.
86. You will forget everyone of of these rules by your fifth drink.

I will let you decide if any of the bold rules apply to you.  If your name is Rod, then a minimum of 2 of these rules apply to you.

Warning: This may only be funny if you’re a nerd like me and have actually played Pokemon.

Anyways, this pretty much sums up Election ’08: