If someone could discover a cure for the need to sleep that didn’t involve drinking either 3 Monsters, 5 cups of coffee or the equivalent, imagine the kind of life you could live.

Assuming you get 6 hours of sleep each night (which isn’t even the “recommended” amount), you’re spending 25% of your day doing nothing more than being unconscious.  If you lived to the ripe old age of 75, that’s 18.75 years of your life spent doing nothing at all.  Think about it.  If you served your “sleep-time” starting from the moment you were born, you’d be able to wake up and experience existence for the very first time by driving yourself to go watch an R-rated movie, go buy a cigar, vote for some old douchebag and walk into a titty bar.

Billions of dollars of research is going into developing treatments for people diagnosed with terrible diseases that allow them to extend their life expectancy by 1 year, 5 years, 10 years.  Why is nobody doing research into curing sleep?

I’m pretty sure we’d all like to extend our lives by 18.75 years.

It’s great and all that Obama put some effort in trying to push for a Chicago win, but for the media to suddenly paint it as “Oh, Chicago will win because of Obama’s greatness and awesomness!” is dumb for two reasons:

1. Chicago’s bid should win on its own merit, not because Obama + Oprah say it should.

2. Painting it as Obama’s Olympics is great for him if Chicago wins, but it sucks for him if Chicago loses.  Chicago lost.  Now people will blame Obama (whether it was his fault or not), and the media will have to eat its words.

Chicago: no Olympics for you!  St. Louis Cards fans: rejoice!